beginning something new

for years i'd been an avid addict and any time there was some new concoction that the kids were trying i would be far surpassing their irrelevant "I'm stoned" to reach a new type of high. a high that could put to shame hollywood in general. everyday was a fight, moving money until i could get my fix for the day. didn't matter who i had borrowed from or how much i already owed. just that for the day, i was fucked up. and hopefully all day. this lasted until i had lost almost every friend and job. then when the money ran out and i could no longer borrow, the dread set in. alomst an hour without and im freaking out, checking to see what i can pawn and begging for money, searching for change. without a job i was hopeless to becoming sober. hopeless and scared.

one night, im climbing into bed when i realize how for so long, during all my years of being fucked up i really hadn't dreamed much. this thought was both disturbing, making me question how many brain cells i had to fry for my body to just reject dreaming, and comforting, i remember dreaming being one of my favorite things about being alive when i was younger; before all the drugs.

that night i dreamed. better and more vivid than i had ever remembered. instantly this was my new addiction.

years later ive found out how to manipulate my dreams and a doctor friend into giving me sedatives to do this. with his help weve managed to rip open the fabric between the two worlds. the world of today and the world of dreams. two different realities. with two different ways of operating. i no longer have an addiction, i have a problem. with the ability to walk between these two worlds freely and the ability to manipulate dreams, i can do anything, but... my safety is no longer guaranteed. anywhere. anytime. there are some from the dreamland that would kill for this power. attempts have been made and a new way of life emerged.

Speach
we control dreaming from our side. anyother way would be an abomination. and your world could not understand or survive.

this is what they said when i was captured the first time. this is when the truth came out. the truth about our lives. that the entirety of our lives is a dream. and when we sleep, that's reality, that's when you're really awake. that's what they don't want you to know.